What does Colossians 3:21 mean?

Explanation

Colossians 3:21 is a biblical directive aimed at Christian fathers, encouraging them to refrain from actions and behaviors that might provoke their children to anger.

This command carries a dual focus: it's concerned both with the well-being of the children, specifically, that they should not be discouraged, and with the appropriate exercise of parental authority.

The admonition embodies a concern that while strong guidance and correction are necessary parts of parenting, they ought to be administered in a way that builds up rather than tears down.

The caveat "lest they be discouraged" underlines the fact that the emotional and psychological impact of a father's behavior on his children is profound and should be taken into consideration when parenting.

Historical Context

Colossians is a letter written by the Apostle Paul to the Christian community in Colossae, a city in Asia Minor (modern-day Turkey), likely during the first century AD.

This period was characterized by paterfamilias, a Roman legal system and cultural assumption that positioned the father as the head of the household with extensive control over his family.

Children in this patriarchal system were expected to be obedient and discipline was often harsh.

In this context, Paul's directive would have been counter-cultural, emphasizing a more compassionate approach to child-rearing.

Theological Insights

The instruction found in Colossians 3:21 has inspired numerous theological reflections:

• Complement to Ephesians 6:4: This verse complements the parallel passage in Ephesians where fathers are told to bring up their children “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Both verses together paint a picture of a balanced Christian parenting approach.

• Divine Fatherhood Model: The guidance resembles attributes of God as a loving and patient father.

The verse promotes an understanding of God’s fatherly nature as a model for earthly fathers.

• Human Dignity and Individual Worth: Theologically, the verse underscores the recognition of children as individuals who possess innate worth and dignity and who should be treated with understanding and respect.

Practical Applications

The teaching of Colossians 3:21 can be applied in various practical ways:

• Parenting Approaches: Modern parenting could adopt a balanced approach where discipline is dispensed with love and a focus on nurturing rather than merely punitive measures.

• Leadership Styles: In the context of leadership, this principle can translate to treating subordinates in a way that encourages and builds them up, avoiding unduly harsh or discouraging methods.

• Conflict Resolution: It teaches a principle of sensitivity in personal relations that can be applied to avoid unnecessary escalation of conflicts.

Cross-References

• Ephesians 6:4: "And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord."
• Proverbs 22:6: "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."
• 2 Timothy 3:16-17: "All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works."

Language Study

The key words in this verse from the original Greek language include:

• "Fathers" (Greek: "patéres"): The term refers specifically to male parents, emphasizing their role and responsibility.
• "Provoke not" (Greek: "mē parorgizete"): This phrase means to not exasperate or incite to anger or resentment.
• "To anger" (Greek: "eis orgēn"): Refers to an intense emotion that can lead to discouragement.
• "Lest they be" (Greek: "ina mē"): Indicates a consequence or result to be avoided.
• "Discouraged" (Greek: "athymōsin"): Means to lose heart, become disheartened, or be broken in spirit.

Cultural and Religious Comparisons

Parent-child dynamics is a universal theme across cultures and religions. In many ancient mythologies, gods often embody the full range of benevolent and harsh aspects of parenthood.

In contrast, Judaism and Islam also offer teachings on parenting, generally emphasizing respect and care for children while also endorsing disciplinary measures.

Colossians 3:21 helps to reinforce the principle shared by many world religions that children should be treated with a balance of guidance and understanding.

Scientific Perspectives

Modern psychological research supports the principle that harsh or inconsistent discipline can lead to various negative outcomes in children, including increased aggression, antisocial behavior, and emotional problems.

In contrast, authoritative parenting, characterized by warmth and consistent, reasoned discipline, is linked to more positive behaviors in children.

Commentaries

Commentators generally agree that Colossians 3:21 instructs fathers to eschew parenting practices that could harm a child's development.

Matthew Henry's Commentary emphasizes the careful balance between authority and tenderness.

John Calvin's Commentary highlights the easy inclination towards severity in parental discipline and warns against it.

The Expositor's Bible Commentary also reflects on the possible negative consequences, such as rebellion or discouragement, when fathers provoke their children.

These experts concur that the aim of parental correction should be the child's improvement, not their exasperation or discouragement.