What does Ephesians 6:4 mean?

Explanation

The verse Ephesians 6:4 is an exhortation to fathers regarding their relationship with their children. This directive is part of a larger household code in the letter to the Ephesians that outlined the behavior expected of different members of a Christian household.

The verse has two primary directives:

"Provoke not your children to wrath": This is a caution against fathers causing their children to become angry or discouraged.

It suggests that the authority of a father should be exercised in a way that does not lead to resentment or disheartenment in their children.

"But bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.": This is a constructive command to provide guidance and instruction in a way that aligns with Christian teachings, reflecting the character and principles of the Lord (Jesus Christ).

"Nurture" here suggests the provision of care and support necessary for the children’s growth, while "admonition" refers to moral and ethical teaching and correction.

The deeper meaning of this verse can be seen as an emphasis on the positive role of the father in developing a child's character and faith within a framework of love and respect, as opposed to rule through fear or authoritarianism.

Historical Context

Ephesians was written by the Apostle Paul (or one of his students writing in his name, as some scholars suggest), likely around A.D. 60-62.

The verse comes from a letter that is thought to be intended for several early Christian congregations in Asia Minor, not just Ephesus. The households during that time had clearly defined roles for fathers, mothers, children, and slaves, and fathers were given considerable power over the family.

Christian households, however, were encouraged to operate differently from their surrounding culture, and the household codes in Ephesians reflect this.

While the authority of the father was recognized, it was to be tempered with love and the example set by Christ.

Theological Insights

From a theological standpoint, Ephesians 6:4 can be seen as an extension of the Christian belief in the sacredness of the family unit and the importance of raising children in a way that honors God.

It suggests that:

• The father’s role as a parent is not just a social or biological one but a stewardship from God.
• Proper parenting reflects God’s character, as He is often referred to as a Father to His people.
• Discipline and instruction should aim to lead children towards a deeper understanding and commitment to God’s ways.

Different Christian traditions may place varying emphases on the nature of the discipline and instruction, but generally agree on the goal of raising children in the knowledge and love of God.

Practical Applications

• Parents should avoid harsh disciplinary methods that could embitter or discourage a child.
• Christian fathers are encouraged to be active and intentional in the religious education of their children.
• Parenting should involve a balance of care (nurture) and moral instruction (admonition).
• Fathers must exemplify the values and principles of their faith in their own lives.

Cross-References

• Colossians 3:21 - “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.”
• Proverbs 22:6 - “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
• Deuteronomy 6:6-7 - “And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children...”
• Proverbs 29:15 - “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.”

Language Study

• "Provoke" (Greek: παροργίζω, parorgizó): to anger, enrage, or exasperate.
• "Nurture" (Greek: παιδεία, paideia): the whole training and education of children, which relates to the cultivation of mind and morals.
• "Admonition" (Greek: νουθεσία, nouthesia): the act of putting in mind, cautioning or reprimanding.

Cultural and Religious Comparisons

In Greco-Roman culture, fathers had almost absolute power over their children, including the right of infanticide and selling them into slavery.

The Christian viewpoint as expressed in Ephesians 6:4 was revolutionary, introducing the idea of a more nurturing, instructive role void of fear and oppression.

From a religious comparison standpoint, Jewish tradition also emphasized the importance of instructing children in the ways of the Torah, which can be seen in verses from the Old Testament (such as those in Deuteronomy).

Scientific Perspectives

While not directly related to science, psychological research supports the notion that parenting styles heavily influence child development.

Authoritarian parenting, which may provoke children to wrath, is often linked with less favorable outcomes, while authoritative parenting that combines clear guidance with support is associated with better social and psychological development.

Commentaries

Commentators often highlight the counter-cultural element of Paul's counsel, emphasizing the radical shift from the patriarchal norms of the day to a more Christ-centered approach to parenting:

• John Stott highlights that the first responsibility of fathers is not to make their children obey them, but to prevent them from becoming discouraged and to keep their spirits up.
• Matthew Henry's commentary views Paul’s instructions as promoting a serious, religious education of children as a means of making the family a church at home.
• The Expositor's Bible Commentary notes the balance required in Paul’s instruction, the need to discipline without creating resentment and to bring up children in strictness balanced by the children’s needs and well-being.